Breakfast with a friend

I've been really feeling happy with the couple of breakfast that I've been having with a friend. This friend of mine is really nice. We just go out on breakfast, talk about work and just very lightly bond with each other. His wife is out of the country, that is why I am very careful with how I act with him or the bond that we are creating. I really hope that this friendship will grow as I treat him as one of a good friend in the making. We have a lot of things in common, even our likes, hobbies and lifestyle are almost similar.

I'm sure that as soon as his wife comes home, there will no more breakfast with just us. But that would be okay, as long as we remain friends. (Even with his wife too, that would be great!)

Thanks Allan for the breakfast that we have and hope that there are many more to come! I really enjoyed the ones that we had. Even the beer and night outs with our friends are good times to remember also.

Vision Board - Coming Soon

I am going to start my new life with a Vision Board. I haven't really started with this. I don't even know what to put into it.
So coming soon is my vision board.

Start of My Struggle

Ok, here is it...I am going to do this and at the same time be serious about it as well. As I have posted before, I am suffering from PCOD / PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome / Disease In my case, I am already on the disease part).

So here's the plan, super healthy living...meaning DIET, EXERCISES and minimal vices.
I'm going to put it in journal (or in this case, this blog) and hopefully if I'm successful others can have this as a source of inspiration.

This is me, my struggle for PCOS / PCOD, my life - my journey

Rain Rain

It's been raining since yesterday and I think its affecting me. I love the rain because I find it so calming (even the thunderstorms and typhoons). When it rains, deep inside I feel so normal... like I'm not that sad anymore because I know that the angels are crying with me.

When it rains hard and continuous my emotions become raw and I suddenly feel so vulnerable. I like this because its been long since I keep on masking my real feelings just to show others that I am happy and okay. That there is no need for them to worry or even think about me.

Am I that pathetic? I think so too. I hate it when people can sense that I am sad. It's not that I want their care or concern. I just don't want them to be hassled. There are more important things that should be thought or worried about. I'm not just worth it!

Raving on a Tuesday

Usually, I would hate Tuesdays simply because I find this to be the most longest day of the week. But today - July 15, 2008, I'm just loving it! It may be too early to tell since its not even 8AM but JP just made my day =)

JP is the hot guy that I've been blogging about for the past weeks (you can see two of the past post here and here). Again, I just really adore him. I find him cute and he's the silent type which I also like in a guy. But its not as if I'm doing something for him to notice me. I just like it this way, me just looking at him and him knowing nothing. You see, I really don't know much about him except those that I already blogged about...so its really not for me to judge if he's the boyfriend material ;) Nonetheless, I just really like him as someone who I can have a crush on - just that.

So anyway, why did JP made my day because he came to the office oh so early. He was even in here before me!! So the moment I walked into my area he was already there sitting. And since it was only the two of us, I cannot help but talk to him and acknowledge that he was there early. He was just smiling and saying that I was shocked because I was not used to it (honestly, I just wanted to say to him that I could get used to it..hahaha)

This is already a lengthy blog for me, and I didn't think it would be. Hopefully my happy day wouldn't last with this news.

Me, want this!

Cal me a geek, but I want these stuff.

I specifically want the toaster, the sofa, the practice plant, Lego salt and pepper shaker, the defendius door chain, magnetic curtains and pac-man pillows.
Unfortunately, I will not be able to afford them nor will anyone in my family or friends buy them for me.

Here's a post and shout out to all future readers who just can't help themselves but buy me these...Hehe. But seriously, I hope that when I have my own place and extra cash I get to buy them.

Whack-A-Cat

I've been meaning to post this for some time now. I just noticed that recently there are a lot of dead cats on the streets. And when I mean dead, I mean roadkill!
Are cats really that confident nowadays that they don't move fast enough to stray from the fast cars? O since most cats in the street eat our left over food, does this mean that we are eating more fatty / less healthy food that it affects even the cats who eats it?
I really don't know why there are a lot of cat roadkills now, and i may never find the bottom of this...but at least I've shared my theories on this.

Here's a game that I came across today, and it so reminded me of posting a blog on roadkill cats.

WHACK-A-CAT

Enjoy!

Wordle = Coolness

Isn't this cool? I so like it...so as of yesterday, this is my wordle. Create your own wordle.

The Quarter Life Crisis

While I am passing off lunch time by myself in this cubicle of mine...I caught myself thinking again - thus, this post in the blog. I though, why not blog about it. So anyhoo, I think I'm in my quarter life crisis...So I'm 25 now, and if it's really a quarter life crisis - I get to live 'till a hundred?! NO! Not my goal. I got this from an email and I've been reading this for the nth time already...

The Quarter-Life Crisis
by unknown

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.

You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

So I really think I'm going all through this plus the fact the my PCOD is driving me insane right now. I don't usually think about it (just shrug it off the way back in my head) but now, I seem to think about it more often than not.

Quick Updates

What have I been up to lately with no posting since the 5th...
Restless the whole weekend....just lay in the bed the whole weekend, thinking. Those thoughts are about to be blogged some time soon.

At work, nothing up really just the usual. I just wish I had a car so that I can leave work at exactly 5! My manager gave me chocolates today from Hawaii - i think that was where he had his long over due vaca. (I have yet to learn how to upload pics to show you the delicious macadamia covered chocolates).

It's too early to tell how my week will go....It's super Tuesday so let's keep our hopes up!

Polycystic Ovarian Disease (PCOD)

Polycystic Ovarian Disease (PCOD) is a multi-organ involved disease or a condition that is created due to hormonal imbalances in women. It is also known as hyper androgen related disease, which is not curable but can be controlled.

I am 25 years old and I was diagnosed with this two years ago. Ever since I found out that I had this, I just didn't know what to do... you see, I am still single and currently have no boyfriend. Questions that came into mind was endless. I didn't look for answers but rather explanations and reasons. My ambitions changed, my perspective shifted. I didn't know why but it was like the whole world dropped on me. And to make things worse, I had to pretend that it didn't bother me. That this was something not to bother with.

My life now revolves with my family and the problems that they have. With that, my life was out of the questions. It was like I was given the task to make sure that everyone is happy and that I could not share my problems with them. That's how I felt. You see, whenever I feel like ranting about my life - my health problem, my work or my friends; my family just turns their back and nudges it off...like it was not as important as the one that they are having.

Part of my reasons for this blog is to share my experiences having PCOD. The meds that I am taking, the prescriptions that my doctor is giving me and most importantly the battle with this.
Someday, when my blog is being read by more than me, I hope that my experiences will be able to help them realize that they are still normal.

Having PCOD is tough in my personality, emotions and life.

Confrontation with myself

I'm still at work and its 20 past 6...Why am I here? I'm not workaholic, its just that my ride haven't arrived yet...and I can't work anymore because my head already hurts...so now, I am blogging.

Given that I still have time, I think this would be a good chance for me to let you into me! (huh?!)
So anyway, I am still..to date I am 25 years of age, working in a corporate world, have a medical condition - pcos/d, lost and doesn't know where to go. yes that's me.... i don't even know who I really am. Frankly, there is a part of me that doesn't want to. For now, I will describe two things that I think people should know about me....

1. I never tell the whole truth. I know this is a gray area on honesty and all, but that's me, I really never tell the whole truth. if some one asks me who am I, I'll respond with my work is OK, quite busy but manageable..or something to that effect. Most of the time, I would even sugar coat the truth just to make sure that other people, especially my parents, would feel secure that I am fine. In reality, I am fine, well at least some parts of my life is fine.

2. I just want to be happy. That's about it..I just want to feel the real happiness that emanates from people when they say that they are truly happy....I don't think I have felt that or if I did; it has been too long that I forgot.

What is my purpose for this blog? I would just want a space (anywhere really, i just find that this is the most convenient and less scandal for me)....where I could be really honest and tell the whole truth. Express myself and somewhat leave a trace of who I really am.

This is me for now, and this from this point on, i will share as much of me in the journey of my life.

What to do?

I'm at work and I feel restless...I don't know why but I hope to get some kind of inspiration.
This is sucking the life out of me.
Right now, I would want to post my health condition - but that too gives me a headache. And even on that, I am not inspired at all.

What to do? What to do?