I hope this will be the start of something new

Hi! I'm back...
I will have this space as my venting out space. A place where I could write up all my feelings bottled up. And then, when time passes I can look it up again and reflect on the things I have done.

This blog has had so many potentials. At first I wanted it to be a place where I could write about the daily battle of someone who is diagnosed with PCOS. Then, it was going to be a place where I would "journalize" my eating habits and reach my goal to becoming thin. Then, it was to be used as my vision board... ARGHH! I am getting frustrated at all this things... These dreams or objectives that I would want to achieve but failed in doing so...

It did not bother me at first, since I can easily delete everything and not think about it. But then, events just poured in these past few months and specially this past weeks. It seems that I have found myself in the pits of hell and loserdom. It is like I am one of those 800 lbs super obese person who cannot get his ass-off the bed and is just waiting to be craned about. And yes, there are cameras showing to the world how such a loser I had become. No offense to those, but at least they have someone special with them. Unlike me, I have nobody.

Not only do I feel such a looser but a loner too. All this sadness, frustration and desparate feeling are deep inside me that are now slowly surfacing. But the worst part of it all, is that I would always always have to show to the world that I am fine and I am at the top of the world. How much sad could I ever be.

But I plan to change all of that now. As I make a new post to my blog, I hope this will be the start of something new. - Dear God, please help me.